Finding home again
by Claude Amelia Song
Summary: On the New Year's Eve what seems to be the most awful news, makes one lost soul find home again. And love comes true in the end.


Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition

Round 11

Pride of Portree

Chaser three: Write about a heartbreak on a summer day(s) **OR an unrequited (doesn't necessarily have to be) love coming true on a winter night(s).**

Optional prompts:

6.(sound) sobbing

11.(song) This is Why I Need You - Jesse Ruben

13\. (phrase) walking down the road

Summary:

Lisa had been afraid to tell Severus about her love believing that she will be rejected, and now that she found out he died she thinks she lost the chance at love forever; she would never know the truth.

But soon, she would find out how untrue her assumptions were and how much returned her love had been. And soon she would find home too, in lone winter night, the last day of the year.

Word count: 1494

Betaed by Oni, Morna and Sarah. Thank you!

* * *

 _I have too many questions to ask_  
 _far too many unknowns_  
 _Why? Why won't you come back?_

 _I need you now._

 _ **Finding Home Again**_

The night was a chilly one and the snow was falling like rain. It was a most beautiful winter night, my favourite time of the year. And yet, soon everything was ruined.

Emptiness. Coldness. That's how I felt when I heard Harry's words.

 _"He died, Lisa. I'm sorry."_

My heart shattered into millions and millions of pieces. I wanted to ask questions, to shout and scream, but all I could do was stare at him as my mind refused to fully register his words.

I could hear someone sobbing; it took some time to realise it was me. I collapsed to the ground, tears streaming down my face. It wasn't fair that he died; I didn't even have the chance to…to tell him of the depth of my feelings. To let him know that he would be missed; that someone cared—that _I_ cared.

The thought that he died without knowing my true feelings was a crushing one. I had been afraid that I would be rejected. After all, he told me countless times he wasn't looking for love. Now, though, I'll never know the truth. I was scared I would lose our friendship, the fragile thing we'd started after the war had ended. He had been so furious back then, but I never found out why.

The snow continued to fall and the stars shone brighter than ever, but for me it didn't matter; nothing mattered anymore. Harry had left, leaving me alone with my misery. Before he left, though, Harry made me promise to go to the Burrow tomorrow before going to visit the grave.

I was thankful for his understanding, but I couldn't bear to see him look at me with such pity and sorrow; I just couldn't.

I waited too long and now it was too late. My love didn't even have a chance to blossom. It was cut at its roots. And it was all my fault.

How hadn't I seen that he was ill? And why had he never told me? Why had he been buried without giving me the chance to see him one more time? And why had Harry looked so worried?

Did he suspect my feelings? I had been careful; I was so certain that Severus didn't love me back romantically and I knew he would shy away if he knew.

If only—but now what did it matter if Harry knew or not? I wanted to _know_ _why_ , why…it was simply too much to take in alone. It was so out of character of Harry to retreat while a friend was in pain. Ron and Hermione, too. Why weren't my friends here with me? Why wasn't I informed that Severus had died until after they buried him? Nothing made sense.

 _Everyone shuts down_ _b_

 _but no one is right_

 _There are so many questions_

 _This is why I need you_

A shiver passed through me. It was so cold outside.

"Why?" I asked myself again, tears streaming down my face.

I knew that I'd promised Harry I wouldn't go to the grave, but I couldn't keep myself away. I had to see—I had to see for myself.

I ran blindly through the night like a desperate madwoman, and in my heart I knew that I was _mad_ —mad with grief. It was a "foolish, typical Gryffindor response," as he would say, and irrational too.

It was only when I reached the limit of the village where I lived that I finally stopped. What was I thinking, running aimlessly in the middle of the night? I would never find his grave this way. It was then that I realized that I didn't even know where he was buried.

 _There are so many problems to face_  
 _There are so many roads to take_  
 _This is why I need you_

I stood at edge of the forest, snowflakes covering my hair and I closed my eyes, trying to remember the last time I saw him. If only I knew that would be the last time…

I wished to be near him so ardently that I willed myself to Apparate to him.

"I'm sorry, Harry," I murmured as the magic whisked me away.

When I opened my eyes, it seemed I survived my crazy idea. I looked around and I felt as though I'd come home. Everything was familiar. I stood inside a most beautiful clearing. Everything was covered in snow and shone in the moonlight. Two stone graves stuck out of the ground a few metres in front of me and an old woodhouse lay beyond it, the roof blanketed in snow.

I felt a lone tear fall from my eye. My heart was heavy with an emotion I couldn't explain. I started walking toward the graves; it was impossible…It couldn't be...

Then I saw the inscriptions:

 _Severus Tobias Snape_

 _9 January 1960—24 December 2000_

 _Beloved Husband and Father_

 _Rose Amalia Snape_

 _24 December 1997—1 September 1998_

 _Beloved daughter_

I fell to my knees, sobbing. That's why everyone had been so gloomy on Christmas Eve; that's why he hadn't told me that he was dying—how could he? He'd wanted to spare me the pain.

It is said that you see your life flashing before your eyes in your last moments, but I had never known if it was true.

 _"He's never going to love me_ ," I hear myself telling Harry, so long ago.

I see myself kissing Severus on the Christmas Eve after the war is over.

 _"I loved you all along," he whispers in my ear._

 _Our daughter, our beautiful daughter…_

 _"Welcome little Rose, welcome to the world."_

 _"Lisa! Watch out!"_

 _I don't see the Death Eater pointing his wand at us, but Severus does. He jumps in front of us both, trying to shield us, but he isn't quite fast enough._

 _"Rose? Rose! ROSE?! NOOOO! Our daughter, Severus! She's gone, she's gone!"_

 _I'm floating above the infirmary at Hogwarts and I see my husband standing over a hospital bed. I am wrapped in white linen sheets. My eyes are closed._

 _"I'm sorry Severus. The shock was too powerful. When she wakes up, she likely won't remember any of it," I hear Madam Pomfrey say._

 _"I don't care. As long as she lives. As long as she is safe."_

 _"You've already saved her, Severus. Shouldn't you tend to your own wounds?"_

 _"You know that I'd die for her. But promise me this, if she doesn't remember, don't tell her."_

 _"But don't you want her to know?"_

 _"No. Why should she mourn a life once it's gone? Our daughter is dead. My wife is in a coma and when she wakes up, if she wakes up, she likely won't remember me. You know that I was hit with an incurable, fatal curse. I have only a little bit more time left than Albus had. What would be the point? You must promise you won't tell her."_

 _"No, Professor, I cannot do that."_

I remember now. Madam Pomfrey was right. I didn't remember.

" _Professor Snape?"_

 _"Miss Thomson."_

I collapsed in the snow, crying, staring at the house. My family…my house...my little Rose.

I didn't have the chance to mourn her.

It wasn't fair. Severus had loved me all along; he only pushed me away because he knew he was dying. My love was not only requited, but I had fallen in love with my husband all over again.

 _You make it so easy to try._

If this wasn't a sign that we were meant to be….

 _you make the darkness less dark_  
 _You make the winter feel warmer_

 _and the stars shine greater_

As snowflakes dusted my body in a ghostly white, I closed my eyes and imagined them, going for a New Year's walk in the snow.

" _Mummy, mummy! Look at my snowman!"_

 _I turn around and there is my little Rose running towards me on the road from our snug little house._

 _"Lisa! What are you doing here?" Severus is beside me in an instant, his eyes filled with concern._

 _I smile and he kisses me._

 _"I came home," I whisper and take his hand in mine._

 _"I wish Harry hadn't told you. I wanted you to live."_

 _"I'm glad he did. This is the life I want," I murmur back. "Our love can finally be free. No more hiding. We're together, now. Forever."_

 _"Forever," he repeated, his lips turning up into the barest of smiles._

* * *

Three shadows could be seen in the moonlight, walking down the road towards the wooden, snow-covered house.

The breaking dawn of the New Year marked a new beginning—the only evidence of the events of the previous night was the new grave that had appeared as if by magic:

 _Lisa Snape_

 _13 October 1979—31 December 2000_

 _Beloved Wife and Mother._

 _Finally home._

* * *

 _You're my home. That's why I need you._


End file.
